I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one in lost is never easy. I would like to share something with you that I believe will give you comfort. It is found in the Bible at Revelation 21:4 it reads " And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes from their eyes and death will be no more neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore the former things have passed away." This can comfort you to know that the pain you are feeling is temporary. My condolences go to you and your family.